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🤣 Art of the deal

by /u/Outrageous-Egg1760 | 105 comments | 2026-06-17T03:59:42+00:00 Central

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/u/Working_Kangaroo3467
Fuck, that's just cold . I've already repeated it
/u/Sutoraizu
Greenland usualy is cold.
/u/Pure_Restaurant_5897
And Coldland is usually green
/u/TheOneCalledEggs
if greenland is cold and coldland is green then whats
coldgreen
/u/mahreow
Already repeated it? The fuck does that mean?
/u/Working_Kangaroo3467
It means I already told people the joke
/u/SuccessOn1
😂😂😂 top tier
/u/Cyralithorienne
It's really is. The sad part is that it's barely even
satire at this point.
/u/f-ingsteveglansberg
This was the plot of the movie The Mouse That Roared.
/u/Sana-F16
It really is If you are not very smart sure.
/u/Mister-Erect
Fuck invade Canada too, we could use the extra income.
/u/Dexchampion99
340 billion dollars is a lotta dough...but I live in a
major city so...hrm...decisions.
/u/newwheels66
It's actually $300 billion in reparations. Plus
unfreezing billions of their assets. Worst deal ever!
/u/Autronaut69420
Soooooo much WINNING!! 300 BIL of it
/u/Market_Foreign
Just don't get too close to a young girls' school,
you'll be fine
/u/GoldenMegaStaff
That is only 1/3rd of an Elon; with inflation basically
chump change.
/u/Chemical_Building612
Okay, what if the US gives Canada back Elon Musk and
Canada gets to extract all assets and everything of
value from him?
/u/MaybeExternal2392
Canada had Elon at one point? You guys really do keep
sending us your worst.
/u/Chemical_Building612
Yes, Musk lived in Canada between South Africa and the
US and was a Canadian citizen for 30+ years before
becoming a US citizen. He also lied repeatedly in his US
immigration process, and is therefor more of a
legitimately a Canadian citizen than an American
citizen.
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/u/thelubbershole
Only if they take back Drake and Ted Cruz too
/u/rouge818
Closer to 1/4 now as of today
/u/Original-Rush139
Bro, I live in California because the weather is
fantastic every day. What say we compromise and you do
the invading, we surrender and then we split the Trump
bucks.
/u/Adventurous-Map7959
Are you willing to sacrifice a girl's school, including
the girls inside, to an initial tripple-tap?
/u/MaybeExternal2392
This is unamerican slander and pro Iran propaganda.
America only double tapped the girls school and I won't
have you defaming the president of peace for it.
/u/Adventurous-Map7959
I'm leaning towards you being sarcastic, in fact I'm
99.999% certain you are, but the American people are so
stupid on average... Here's the source of my claim:

According to Minab's mayor and the Iranian Ministry of
Education, the school was triple tapped, being struck
three times in total.[5] Satellite-base analysis by BBC
Verify suggest the area of the school was hit with
multiple missiles.[4]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2026_Minab_school_attack#
Events
/u/MaybeExternal2392
Damn I thought I was clear with the president of peace
double tapping a girls school thing, you really can't be
to liberal with /s though. I was legitimately wrong
about the triple tap though so thanks for the source.
/u/Mike_Kermin
I mean the invade Canada guy is being sarcastic as well.

No, the President should not invade Canada.

Our lean here should be more of a horizontal planking
maneuver.
/u/Dear_Chasey_La1n
For 300 billion, let's make it 2.
/u/raverbashing
Convince him to invade New Mexico thinking it's Mexico
then do a deal with Mexico
/u/Crafter9977
🎶 blame Canada, blame Canada 🎶...
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/u/Mos-Wishes
Venezuela called, they want some too.
/u/qatamat99
Nah they cashed out pretty quick. Didn't wait for daddy
Trump to get bored of the war
/u/Bert-63
Fuck yeah... The entire rest of the world will be lining
up.
/u/Frosty1397
Invade me daddy Trump (and pay me $300B at the end)

Donnie is used to paying people after he finishes, if
you know what im sayin
/u/katastrof
He's also good at promising payment and flaking, but
this is house money, so he dgaf.
/u/Nervous_Group8638
For 300 billions? Sorry wife, but I'd consider giving
that turd my anal virginity (of course that's mostly an
excuse to have him locked in a room alone, for
"privacy", no other reason)
/u/MaxDisdain
id do it for 3 million

hell even 300k id consider it
/u/pluviophile079
Literally saw Reagan's presidency and said hold on, let
me put on my father's robes. ((Yes, those robes))
/u/Ja_Shi
Depends who you ask. Pretty sure the IRGC and China are
rather happy with him 🤷‍♂️
/u/The-Bangaloreal
Don't give up.. I trust Americans to make him look like
Albert Einstein with their future voted presidents
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/u/ghost_warlock
worst potus ever...so far. I'm not sure how, but I'm
sure the GOP will find a way
/u/CwazyCanuck
Would Greenland really be willing to give up its nuclear
ambitions?
/u/GilneanWarrior
Is iran? Did we just fund their next nuclear
expenditure? Assuming the 300 billion ends up going to
Iran and not the Trump family.
/u/Johannes_Keppler
Would you give up your nuclear ambitions with Israel in
your back yard? I wouldn't. We've seen what they are
capable of.

Having 'the nucular' is what's keeping Russia
untouchable and giving it up made Ukraine get in to the
situation it is now.

I don't like the proliferation of nuclear arms
everywhere at all, but I do get it.
/u/obliviious
I'm pretty sure Russia would still be a huge issue
without Nukes tbh. They might be less than they were,
but I wouldn't have high hopes for any land invasion
/u/slashS4sarcasm
They aren't talking about an offensive into Russia. If
Russia didn't have nukes, the US and rest of the west
probably would have sent in troops and equipment
immediately and directly to defend Ukraine, on Ukrainian
soil.
Instead the best they could do is invite Ukrainian
soldiers to their own countries to train and then send
them back to the front lines. It took forever for any
country to finally send weapons and equipment.
/u/Kevlaars
If we don't want Iran to have nukes, stop giving them
reasons to think they need them.
/u/espkv
From what i've seen this term, i'm guessing the 300
billions will be paid out in trumpcoins.
/u/Ferovore
The past few decades of geopolitics has shown time and
time again that your country does not have a right to
self determination unless you have nukes. Hate nuclear
proliferation, still think eventually it'll be the end
of us, not gonna blame a single country for wanting them
unless they're happy being bent over a barrel by
countries with them.
/u/qatamat99
Well as long as the MoU doesn't include anything about
Nuclear ambitions like the one Iran signed then
Greenland can keep its spicy goo
/u/Cyralithorienne
Getting invade by the US just to secure infinite tolling
rights and a massive payout is honestly peak financial
strategy.
/u/WhiteMilk_
No no no no no, not tolls.
/u/Any_Show_5160
I hope they call it a tariff, it's a beautiful word
after all...
/u/ghost_warlock
tolls with a service fee and processing fee. Rename it
the Straight of Ticketmaster
/u/AdvancedPlayer17
Everyone laughing at US, losing to some middle eastern
country like Iran.

Guess both Russia and US are weaker than everyone
thought.
/u/353452252
Hey everyone! America is handing out free money! Their
citizens don't care enough to defend their own country
so who's going to stop them
/u/jimi-ray-tesla
just add question marks to that shitty suit
/u/Voodoocookie
You just need to convince Bibi that your government can
be toppled in a week at most. Then he'll convince Trump.
/u/GudduBhaiya-Mirzapur
https://giphy.com/gifs/Mg0uaDNqG6TahT6okb
/u/Runkel80
Iran got Stormy Danieled
/u/annomandri
Sorry they ran out of ammo. Hold tight while they
replenish their stocks.

And one of their B52 bombers ran out of air to fly in,
unfortunately.
/u/Infinite_Plenty101
8 people died in that crash. That shit ain't funny you
goon
/u/annomandri
Your forces killed many innocent sailors of neutral
countries who were working in shippin vessels in the
last few months.

Stop attacking other countries if you dont want to be
spit on your face.

you unclean Butt whole.
/u/TheOtterMonarch
what if both sides are bad and all death is bad?
/u/annomandri
Death is a fact of life. There can be no new life
without death.

Morals are black and white. Hurting another innocent
person will have consequences. In this life or the next.
/u/Saros_Enjoyer
Iran kinda sucks but the US is demonic
/u/TheOtterMonarch
either way, 8 americans dying is still 8 human lives
lost. im not saying they're worse than any other 8
deaths, but that's still 8 people whose loved ones will
never see again
/u/Saros_Enjoyer
True. But I find people constantly downplay the lives of
brown people in non-Western Countries and don't treat
their deaths as tragic

Like people are still yapping about October 7th while
justifying Israel bombings in Gaza/Lebanon when Israel
has killed significantly more children in those bombings
than the total number of people killed on Oct 7th. Not
to mention a third of the people killed on Oct 7 were
IDF soldiers AKA valid targets
/u/TheOtterMonarch
no one is a valid target
/u/Saros_Enjoyer
Disagree. Slaves are justified in killing their
enslavers
/u/PlusTiedye
Every time an American "soldier" dies, its one less
terrorist in the world.

The American military is the biggest terrorist
organization on Earth.
/u/MaddogBC
Somebody snarkily replied elsewhere that they shouldn't
make deals with terrorists. I was wondering if he meant
Bibi or Shitler.
/u/Dommiiie
And those deaths (and many many more) could have easily
been prevented, if not for one senile rapist.
/u/GloomyIndividual3965
Those deaths were the result of a crash during a routine
test/training mission over US soil, and had nothing to
do with the war. I agree with you on everything else
though.
/u/Personal-Rhubarb-884
Doesn't have anything to do with the war but it does
have everything to do with our inept government.

They're scrapping routine maintenance and training. We
lost a lot of high ranking officers and the standard we
held our military to is simply gone.

This could have also been avoided if our Air Traffic
Controllers had proper staffing and funding.
/u/GloomyIndividual3965
No disagreement here. I was just clarifying in case
anyone thought that b52 was lost in the war.
/u/Mansplainer101
No. Unfortunately, millions voted for him and millions
where too egocentric to bother to go and vote for the
other alternative.
/u/Adventurous_Salt
They did sign up for a career of bombing the needy, so
who knows how it plays out in the wash.
/u/annomandri
Taking up the sword is the last act of desperate men(and
women). Mark my words and find yourself a more wealthy
dream.

Gardens of the moon, Malazan Book of the Fallen by
Steven Erikson.

Maybe if there were no soldiers anywhere, there wont be
wars that need to be fought? On borrowed money?
/u/TheGenesisOfTheNerd
And what were those people doing in a B52 Bomber?
/u/Any_Show_5160
They were heading off to drop supplies in Gaza, going
for the longest air aid mission in history, and you
question their motivations, how dare you.
/u/Moppermonster
It does require one to sacrifice a few schoolgirls on
Trumps altar of blood though. Is that really worth it?
/u/juanjung
300 billion would make Greenland look like Shanghai.
/u/PlatypusIllustrious7
This was fake news circulating the internet.
/u/drkravens
I don't think Greenland has that many kids to bomb. Also
not funny.
/u/Anubis_Omega
Can they invade my house ? They can block the Strait of
my parking if they want.
/u/wtf1977
he is used to paying over the odds for fucking up
/u/Makere-b
So get hit by couple missiles, some people dead, collect
over 300 billions from Trump and an apology?
/u/Hoodedmastersin
DonOLD dump gives out deals. The best deals. All at
taxpayer expense, everyone says
/u/Pretend_Berry8070
Has anyone read or seen the documents?
/u/skulleyb
This is the post if the year
/u/Praxic_Nova
So we can give reparations. Hmm
/u/Posterapokalypse
I heard they're already enriching uranium.
/u/Nobanpls08
what deal did iran get?
/u/MadRaymer
Here's a draft of the deal according to Bloomberg.

Takeways: at least $300 billion in reconstruction,
releasing frozen Iranian assets, and lifting sanctions.
Pretty sweet for Iran.
/u/Nobanpls08
Are they making any concessions in exchange? And is that
300b coming from my taxes?
/u/MadRaymer
Are they making any concessions in exchange?

Yes, the draft outlines those.

And is that 300b coming from my taxes?

A large portion of it likely will. Here's the text of
that point in the draft:

The United States undertakes, together with its
regional partners, to create a comprehensive plan agreed
upon by both parties for the rehabilitation and economic
development of the Islamic Republic of Iran, While
ensuring financing of at least $300 billion. The
implementation mechanism of this plan, as part of the
final agreement, will be formulated within 60 days.

So some of those regional partners are likely to chip
in a portion of that $300 billion. But US taxpayers
aren't off the hook here.
/u/Saros_Enjoyer
Opening and de-mining the Straight of Hormuz, giving up
some of their nuclear material, allowing nuclear
inspections, not building any nuclear weapons

Basically the stuff the US already had with the JCPOA
before Trump ripped it up like an idiot in his first
term
/u/Green-Rule-1292
closes the atlantic strait - Greenland
/u/Tramonto83
It's a fun joke but you have to account for 3000+
deaths, more than half of which are civilians, into the
deal...
/u/PlatypusIllustrious7
Iran killed more people than that.